Singapore is a city-state. People that live here, they can’t go to the mountain without going abroad. They can’t even go take a walk in the countryside without going abroad. But they can go to the beach. See, there’s an island just south of the city, so close that you can go there on foot over a bridge. And it’s the perfect beach-getaway for all the business types that live-work in Singapore.
Only problem is: the island doesn’t have a beach. Even though it’s so conveniently located! The perfect beach-island has no beaches. So they build some. The whole southern coast, the one not facing the city, is spotted with artificial beaches. With artificial mini-islands that you can get to over a real-wood pier.
While they were at it, they turned the whole inside of the island into golf courses. Apart from the eastern bit that they made into a neighborhood for indecently rich people, and the western bit where they built an amusement park called Universal Studio.
Now you might understand why we all had to go to this fake-ass happy-happy place. Cranky just loves amusement parks.
She has a scheme to get in without paying, but it works better in the afternoon. We went to the artificial beach first.
Singapore’s fake-ass beach paradise
The cutie on the left is Mardy. Weirdo and Cranky know her from before. She’s really sweet, and her parents are hosting us.
To get there, we had to first walk to the island, then ride in their futuristic maglev-monorail-toytrain, and then in the beach-tram, which is really a bus, but articulated like a tram and open on the sides.
The fake-ass beach was really well made. Kudos to the engineers. In fact, it had a bit of that “too good to be true” touch, like they overdid it. The sand near the water was of a finer grain than the one on the beach. Singaporeans are more german than the Germans.
Weirdo found a bunch of corporate dudes that were on a corporate getaway to play volleyball with. He said they all work for that German company that makes industrial sensors. He couldn’t quite pinpoint why that company had offices here. They don’t produce here, they don’t sell here, they’re not from here… He’s been scratching his head over it ever since. Or maybe he still has sand in his hair: he spent more time diving than standing on the field. His team lost, of course, in good part thanks to him.
Then we moved it to the Universal thing.
Singapore’s Universal Studio
As proves the picture above, Cranky did get us in. I don’t know if I should tell the secret, but it involves only good sense, talking to people and ressource-reuse philosophy and you probably figured it out by now so let’s cut to the chase !
Well, there wasn’t much chasing for me. You’d think those places would be kid-friendly… I couldn’t get in any of the cool rides ! I only got to see Shrek in 3D. But the glasses weren’t the right size, so it was more like 2.5D. Meanwhile, Weirdo, Cranky and Mardy were riding the revenge of the mummy and Jurassik Park.
When the park closed, we went home. Weirdo was all proud that we hadn’t contributed any money to the fake-island, Cranky reminded him that it was thanks to her tablediving all these drinks. Mardy took us to a delicious foodcourt and we had dinner and went home.